Austin has a strong vocabulary, and offered several good suggestions for word replacements, or more impactful verbs. He also offered his opinion on some directions Aidan was considering taking his story.
As Aidan and I were wrapping up for the evening, Austin complimented Aidan on his story ideas and his stamina for generating imaginative twists and character development. Austin has had some ideas brewing in his mind for some time, and invited Aidan to help him to turn them into a story. Aidan felt good about the compliments and seemed willing to help, but was very tired and needed to tuck into bed.
Austin was clearly intrigued by what Aidan and I had been doing together, and asked me to describe the process for him. I explained that the process started weeks ago, when Aidan first thought of some story ideas, drew a map of the territory where his story takes place, then worked to create an extensive character list. Austin has noticed that Aidan has been writing out his character lists in a notebook. But Austin was interested to know what was different about tonight, and my involvement.
Tonight, we hung up a large blank sheet of paper on the wall. In the centre, I wrote "Into the Sea," the title of Aidan's novel. I envisioned a mind map and wrote the names of Aidan's four clans on rays from the centre. Then, I asked Aidan to write the clan personalities and territory. He recorded names of the main characters of the four clans, a few characteristics of the clans, and drew a sketch of the territory.
I explained to Austin that there was one particular idea of Aidan's that really struck me as unusual and intriguing. It inspired me to start writing some fiction, so I began writing and Aidan read as I wrote. Austin heard us going through the iterations of writing and revising, and participated in some of this activity. I invited Austin to go through a similar process with me, and he says he is interested. He also wants Aidan to help with building on some of his story ideas.
As I wrote this blog entry, Austin wrote a prologue for his story. And here it is ...
The Great Beginning Warriors
Prologue
Ferns flashed in Sabercub’s face, tickling his nose, but he didn't dare stop to rub it. His sister, Starcub, raced beside him. As they ran, behind them, the sound of their pursuers was getting louder. A tree loomed ahead as they rushed deeper into the undergrowth. A horrific screech sounded behind him as he kept running. The sound grew more and more distant and his sister found an old tree trunk to hide in. It was dark and damp as it always was in the jungle, and the trunk was covered in moss. As he lay down, recent events came flooding back to him.
He was nestled comfortably beside his sister. It was a warm day, so he felt groggy and tired. His stomach growled, reminding him of how hungry he was. His mother, Goldenfur, sat up and watched the horizon. She bent down and picked up Starcub by the scruff of her neck and heaved her off the ground. Starcub complained, "Mother, I'm big enough to walk by myself! I'm not a tiny cub anymore." His mother replied, “Well, you’re right about not being small, that’s for sure. Now keep up and follow me closely.” She put Starcub down and headed off into the jungle.
His sister pelted after her and he began to stalk his mother’s tail. Just when he was about to pounce, Goldenfur stopped abruptly and crouched, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck. “Keep down!” she hissed, and put his sister beside him.
"What's going on?” he asked.
"Shh! Keep quiet." she whispered.
Just then, the smell hit him. It smelled pungent and rotting. He stiffened. He knew what that smell was. The death birds had found them.
Suddenly, the grass in front of them wavered and a giant beak shot through and grabbed Goldenfur. She roared and clawed the head of her attacker. The bird stepped back and began slashing at his mother with its enormous beak. Goldenfur yowled, “Run! Get back to the jungle!”
Sabercub raced off with his sister trailing him. Before he reached the ferns, he glanced back. With a horrific screech, the bird drove its beak into his mother’s neck. She shrieked in pain and flailed once, then went still. The world lurched and his sister began to go towards their mother. Before she could take a step, two birds darted out of the grass and ran towards them. They looked terrible with their cold green eyes staring forward at them. He turned and fled with his sister beside him and crashed into the undergrowth.
As the memories briefly faded, he felt exhausted and he curled up close to his sister and fell into sleep.
Tigercub yawned in the morning heat. His brother, Stripecub, stirred beside him. His mother, Nightclaw, had just returned from hunting in the jungle and had brought back a small antelope, so they had fed well. Tigercub spotted a butterfly and pounced in the air. He landed with a whump on his brother, who sat up in alarm and tackled him to the ground. They wrestled each other. Stripecub leaped to bowl him over, but he sidestepped and Stripecub ran straight into their mother.
Nightclaw sat up in alarm. Stripecub tumbled back to his brother. Nightclaw gave him a cuff over his ear and shoved Stripecub over. He fell down and Tigercub decided to tackle him. As they rolled in the grass their mother lay down in a sunny patch away from the energetic cubs. Tigercub wanted to play hunter and prey so he asked Stripecub if he wanted to be the hunter.
"Yes, I can catch you anywhere you hide or run. I'll be the best hunter in the jungle," he replied.
So they set off into the bush. He told Stripecub to wait there and he headed to his favourite hiding spot in an old rotten log where the mushrooms disguised his scent. He was startled to find it already occupied. Two saber cubs lay there sleeping.
Suddenly, a horrible screech sounded far behind him, and shortly after, his mother’s roar filled the air. He was about to head back, but then the screeches sounded again. He heard his mother calling for him and his brother was wailing as the screeches increased. Their calls grew more and more distant, until they faded into silence.
He turned and saw that the saber cubs were trembling and wide-eyed. He wondered why saber cubs would be afraid of him. Then, he remembered the birds and he realized that, like him, these cubs were on their own.
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